Impervious
by Befanini
Summary: Most people think it’s shounenai, but I really didn’t have it in mind. Just thought I made Gojyo the flirt that he is, & when readers automatically assume that he and Sanzo are together it makes me GRIN


**Title: Impervious**

**Author: ****Befanini**

**Disclaimer: **I have absolutely no rights whatsoever. For daydreaming purposes only. XD

**Warning: **Rated M for language.

**Summary: **My alternate take on one of the Gensomaden Saiyuki episodes, the one full of Sanzo-angst about the rain.

**A/N: **Given the boys' personalities, I think the scenario I've written up seems very plausible… What do you guys think? This fic purely inspired by Josh Groban's dreamy music.

In the story timeline, Gojyo still wears a vest when this event takes place, but I've taken the liberty of outfitting him in the jacket he wears in Reload and Gunlock. You'll see why… hehehe…

* * *

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.– G.K. Chesterton

* * *

"Yare yare desu ne…" Hakkai sighed mournfully, as he came back down the stairs bearing yet another untouched meal tray.

"Eh?" Gojyo let the two front legs of his chair bang down, knowing that the fastidious Hakkai didn't approve of chair tilting. He gave the passing tray a sorrowful look. "'Ch. This is the fifth tray he's wasted so far," he commented to the gentle-faced healer, who started to scrape the spoiled food into the bin.

"And the sixth one will be coming along shortly, no doubt," replied Hakkai, shaking his head at the dreary, dank scene outside the window above the sink.

Gojyo gave a sad shake of his head, antennae-like strands of hair bobbing. As Hakkai started to wash the breakfast dishes, Gojyo got up and walked over to the door, opened it, and stood surveying the miserable tableau outside, his hands in his back pockets.

"Is that bakazaru still sulking?" he asked Hakkai over his shoulder.

"Now, Gojyo, you know perfectly well that Goku's feelings were deeply hurt yesterday. To tell you the truth, I don't blame him for staying away."

Gojyo gave a grunt. "I suppose."

The day before, an anxious Goku had brought home canned peaches and some other stuff he'd thought Sanzo would like. The kid was so eager and earnest and honestly worried, and Sanzo had kicked him out. Literally, from the sounds of it. No, that definitely was not a fair way to repay the boy's concern.

Gojyo narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Then he reached out for his jacket, put it on, and informed Hakkai that he was going out.

"What? In this downpour?"

"I'm out of smokes."

"We have plenty of cigarettes here – "

"Uh-uh. Not my brand."

And with that casual reply, Gojyo disappeared into the rain.

Hakkai gave a defeated, tired smile. "Oh well… what are we going to do about those three hard-headed boys, ne?"

"Kyu!" came the sympathetic reply.

"I swear, Hakuryu, someday I'm going to lose it…"

"KYUUU!"

* * *

Tap… tap…

Silence.

TAP. TAP. TAP.

"Stop wasting the damn food, Hakkai."

RAP-RAP-RAP-RAP!

From inside the room came a low threat, accompanied by rapid footsteps. The door jerked open, but before Sanzo had time to react, Gojyo had breezed past him and entered the room.

Sanzo stood at the door, glaring icily. "Get. Out. Ero. Kappa." Sanzo bit out from clenched teeth.

For answer, Gojyo set down the hot dinner tray he was carrying, pulled out a chair, and sat down pointedly, noting the can of peaches and other goods strewn all over the floor, as if someone had knocked them there in a rage. Long legs came up on the table as Gojyo tilted the chair, his brown arms going behind him to cradle his head. He returned Sanzo's glare mockingly.

Furious, Sanzo whipped out his gun in a movement too swift to be seen, aiming it at the grinning redhead.

"Go ahead, you arrogant monk. Shoot me." Lazily.

Sanzo's finger tightened on the trigger. "You think I won't do it?" Softly.

"Oh, I know you would. You're a cold-blooded beast, after all." Breezily.

"Am I?" Dangerously.

"Sure. Only a heartless animal would treat a poor kid that way." Gojyo glanced down at the mess.

Pause.

"'Ch. I told him not once, not twice, but four times to just leave me the hell alone. As I'm telling you. Now get out." Sanzo turned away and walked over to the window and stood there, staring out at the rain.

"Here." A fresh pack of cigarettes landed on the bed beside Sanzo. "Premium grade. Your brand."

Sanzo glanced down, then back out the window dismissively. Gojyo sighed, crimson eyes rolling. "Fine. How 'bout this then? Warm you up."

A sharp clack sounded as Gojyo produced a bottle of quality sake and set it down on the table. Purple eyes barely flickered. Gojyo glared. The bastard is just going to ignore me, he realized. Damn. He's really good, he admitted with a grudging respect. A ranting Sanzo he could bait and goad and maybe coax out of this miserable little state he was in, but this icy wall… Gojyo shrugged. Well, it left him no choice. Time to play dirty.

"Suit yourself," he drawled, and closed his eyes, letting out a huge yawn. After a while, the redhead cautiously peered with a barely-opened eye at the pale figure by the window. It didn't budge.

Gnashing his teeth silently, Gojyo then started to snore – loudly.

Then louder.

And louder still.

A long string of expletives exploded from across the room. "Omae o korosu…" Gojyo's eyes flew open. His hands shot out to brace himself against the table as his tilted chair came crashing down, and he watched the livid priest approach as if in slow motion, tasting his impending doom in his mouth. It took all of Gojyo's willpower not to shield his face with his hands.

Sanzo halted in front of him, glared down balefully from his finely chiseled, aristocratic nose. He raised up an ivory arm with a snarl…

… to snatch up the bottle of sake.

Gojyo hid a smile as Sanzo stalked back to the bed, propped himself against the headboard, and took a long swig from the flask, violet eyes gazing stormily out the window.

After some time he reached down, grabbed up the pack of smokes, tore it open, tapped out a cigarette and clamped it between hard, sullen lips.

He was fumbling inside his robe for his lighter when a bright flame materialized in front of him. He leaned forward, not acknowledging Gojyo in any way, then leaned back and crossed his arms, turning his head away. Meanwhile, the kappa lit a stick himself, as he took up Sanzo's abandoned post by the window.

They smoked in silence. Leaning over, Sanzo stubbed out his cigarette, raised up the sake and took another long drink.

"Oi, save me a drop, will you? That cost me the last of the big haul I took away from last week's poker session…"

"Drop dead."

"You're welcome, Sanzo-Sama."

"'Ch."

After a beat, an alabaster arm flashed toward Gojyo, palm down, the bottle proffered between index and middle finger.

"Saannkkyyuuuu…"

* * *

"I've sampled your offerings. Now leave."

"Have you?" And Gojyo mischievously – suggestively – sucked on a tanned thumb tip.

"Are you going, erogappa?" Sanzo growled murderously.

"Not until you've eaten what Hakkai's cooked for you."

A vein throbbed delicately on Sanzo's temple. What did it take to have a few hours' peace by himself? _You call it a few hours? _A voice inside taunted him. Urusei! he answered back. Then sighed inwardly. Goku he could drive away. Hakkai he could dismiss. But there was no fighting the bull-headedness of one incorrigible Sha Gojyo. Really, it was simpler to let him think he'd had his own way, then he'd leave and Sanzo would be left in peace and quiet again to fight his own demons. _Are you trying to convince yourself?_

Abruptly, Sanzo swung his legs down from the bed and stalked over to the table, and sat down angrily. He pulled the dinner tray to him fiercely, uncovered it with a vicious yank, and sat seething down at the food.

Gojyo stared. He hadn't expected to win so easily. Living dangerously, he sauntered over to the pissed monk. "Oi, it's bad karma to glare at food, you know. Gives it negative vibes, or something," he said seriously as he reached the table.

Sanzo transferred the purple glare up to him. Gojyo held up his palms. "'Food is holy.' Hakkai told me that once," he said defensively. The purple eyes dropped back down to the plate of steaming food as Gojyo perched himself on the edge of the table, the only chair in the room occupied by the irritated priest.

"Well? Eat, for the love of Tenkai! You're skin and bones!" Gojyo admonished. Then his lids dropped to half-mast as he purred silkily, "…Or perhaps," – he leaned down – "you'd like me to feed you?"

THWAK!

Gojyo jerked back sharply. Where had the harisen come from? he thought, wincing and rubbing his shoulder. But he was heartened to see Sanzo reluctantly pick up the chopsticks and start picking at the food.

Gojyo jumped off the table lightly, giving Sanzo some privacy as he ate. Like a bird, as usual, but at least he was eating. Gojyo paced a little, then settled himself back at the window, humming a tune. _Raindrops keep falling on my head/ But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red/ Crying's not for me/ Coz I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'/ Because I'm free… Nothing's worrying me…_

"Urusei."

Gojyo frowned, shrugged, and pushed himself back from the windowsill. He went back to pacing, and finally he knelt down and started picking up the cans and stuff from the floor.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, kappa?"

Crimson eyes blinked innocently up at Sanzo. "Why, cleaning up your mess. Isn't it obvious?" He grinned up at Sanzo engagingly.

"Leave it."

Gojyo ignored him.

"I said fucking leave it, dammit!"

Without looking up, Gojyo raised a long brown finger. "Nope. Don't think that's a good idea. You see, that would make the bakazaru all sulky again, then we wouldn't have four to play mahjong." He started whistling again cheerfully.

Sanzo was distracted, staring down at the kappa in incredulous disbelief. "You have the thickest skin, you know that?"

By this time Gojyo had finished picking things up. He stood up and dusted himself off. He answered Sanzo lightly.

"Of course I do, you angst-ridden, tortured monk. Water beetles have to be thick-skinned. Or shelled. Whatever. Otherwise… we'd drown."

Sanzo stared back at those half-lidded wine-colored eyes and found no judgment, no recrimination whatsoever. Just bald honesty, solid determination and fierce, overwhelming loyalty. And Sanzo gave up.

* * *

"So you brought him back," Sanzo mumbled as he lit another cigarette, his half-eaten tray now neatly covered on the side.

"Yup." Gojyo burped, having just finished a can of beer in one long swallow. A soft pop sounded as he deftly opened another and offered it to Sanzo.

Purple eyes narrowed. "What else have you got under that jacket?" Sanzo demanded.

Gojyo raised a suggestive eyebrow. "Wouldn't you like to know…" he singsonged, waggling those wicked eyebrows.

"'Ch."

Gojyo sat down in the chair that Sanzo vacated, the priest walking across the room to collapse back in the bed.

"If that bakazaru is still sulking…"

"He'll get over it. Kids do that quickly."

"I doubt that."

Gojyo sighed. "Trust me, Sanzo, just give the kid a smile and he'll be the happiest monkey you ever saw. The kid worships the ground you walk on. You know that."

Silence. Then Sanzo sighed in his turn. "I suppose now you want me to apologize to him."

Gojyo looked at him seriously. "Would that be such a hard thing to do?"

Sanzo shrugged, then gave a soft, defeated curse.

"All right. Fine. Let's get it over with. You win. Go get that stupid monkey."

"Hai, hai! Right away, o exalted and most holy Sanzo Houshi." Gojyo grabbed up the meal tray and jogged to the door, but he caught the priest's muttered words.

"Don't fucking know how you fucking get me to fucking do what you fucking want you fucking kappa…"

Gojyo turned at the door and gave the scowling Sanzo a saucy wink. "It's 'coz you love me, baby," he quipped, then squawked; narrowly avoiding an empty beer can aimed at his head.

Sanzo gazed out the window as the storm clouds broke up and stars started to twinkle. He heard the kappa clattering down the stairs, bellowing.

"Oi, Hakkai….Goku! … Get your asses upstairs. And bring three more chairs. We got ourselves a mahjong game… The loser has to wash the dishes and be my personal slave for a week…"

"Why _your _slave, you cockroach!" came a yelp.

"'Coz I'm Sha Gojyo The Irresistible, and I say so, _baka saru_!"

From downstairs came the sound of scuffles.

"Yare yare desu ne…"

Sanzo muttered to himself. "Baka erogappa…"

Then his lips twitched in the ghost of a smile despite himself.

-owari-

* * *

You Raise Me Up

Josh Groban

When I am down, and oh my soul so weary

When troubles come, and my heart burdened be

Then I am still, and wait for you here in silence

Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be

* * *

OUTTAKES

SCENE 1

Tap… tap…

Silence.

TAP. TAP. TAP.

"Stop wasting the damn food, Hakkai."

RAP-RAP-RAP-RAP!

From inside the room came a low threat, accompanied by rapid footsteps.

Downstairs, three heads poked around the door leading up to the stairway. Upstairs came a startled screech, followed by a string of curses. Then a gunshot. Downstairs, three giggling youkai jumped for cover, bumping heads. Heavy footsteps rang as Sanzo descended the stairs rapidly. He stood in the empty kitchen, sporting a black eye and clutching a dead woodpecker.

"WHO'S THE FUCKING WISE GUY?"

SCENE 2

Gnashing his teeth silently, Gojyo then started to snore – loudly.

Then louder.

And louder still.

A long string of expletives exploded from across the room. "Omae o korosu…" Sanzo halted in front of him, glared down balefully from his finely chiseled, aristocratic nose. He raised up an ivory arm with a snarl…

… and clamped Gojyo's mouth shut. Hard. "Yamero! baka erogappa…"

Gojyo saw stars as his teeth bit hard into his tongue. He tasted blood.

"Thath wath ungcolg hor, you bashtrd…"

"'Ch.…"

SCENE 3

Gojyo burped, having just finished a can of beer in one long swallow. A soft pop sounded as he deftly opened another and offered it to Sanzo.

Purple eyes narrowed. "What else have you got under that jacket?" Sanzo demanded.

"Let's see, let's see," Gojyo cackled, rubbing his palms together. Sanzo leaned back in alarm.

Reaching inside, Gojyo pulled out a pop-up girlie magazine. He tossed it at Sanzo, who recoiled, nose wrinkling. Gojyo pulled out item after item, muttering. "Samsung cellphone… Apple iPod, nice huh? … Aha! GameBoy Advance, can't live without it… breath mints, necessity of life… Tag Heuer, water resist, ne, you wanna buy? No? Okay, how about an autographed picture of Brad Pitt? No? Angelina Jolie, then? Ach. You one tough customer, you are… the Paris Hilton tapes? Pamela Anderson? … Ah! I know! Hehe… How bout a snapshot of Hakkai in the shower… Eh?"

Gojyo looked up in alarm, realizing too late that the high priest was chanting hastily, wildly.

"Sanzo ---"

"P U R I F Y T H E E V I L ! …"

* * *

_OUTTAKE _OUTTAKE

"Ach. You one tough customer, you are… the Paris Hilton tapes? Pamela Anderson? …Eh?"

Gojyo looked up in alarm, realizing the High Priest was chanting hastily, wildly.

Gojyo gulped and pulled out his most prized possession, waving it frantically at Sanzo's face. "PURIFY THE EV—"

Sanzo snatched up the blurred picture of Hakkai in the shower. "That's more like it…"

Gojyo wiped off his forehead and muttered. "Oi, that's not for sale, that's only on loan…"

* * *

Japanese mini-glossary

Yare yare desu ne: Well, well/ Dear oh dear (Japanese expression of exasperation or vexation)

Bakazaru: Stupid monkey

Erogappa: Horny water imp

Omae o korosu: I'm going to kill you

Tenkai: Heaven

Harisen: Paper fan

Urusei: Shut up

Houshi: Priest

Yamero: Stop it


End file.
